I was all set for my usual monthly journal post at the end of November, and then I got the flu, or something flu-ish, on the 29th.  A long fever followed by the most vicious cough. I can’t remember being that ill in recent years. I had to sleep sitting up (with Trix on top!) and I still coughed all night. It lasted three weeks and almost wiped out my December. Suffice to say, a November blog did not happen.  So, I am sharing the November and December pages together.

I am not particularly good at being ill – not stoic or cheerful or able to get a sense of perspective.  In my twenties, I’d have taken to my bed and stayed there until I was better.  Hannah-in-her-twenties would never have believed that Hannah-with-children would just keep on going, somehow. And, let me be clear, I do not think that keeping-on-going is a good thing: it holds no moral weight to me, it does not make me brave or strong.  It just didn’t seem optional – a small business in December and two very excited little people – and so on we plodded.  I’m actually trying to achieve the opposite of keeping-on-going in the winter.  I’m desperate to slow down, to achieve dormancy or stagnation. To rest and reflect and gain reserves for the spring.  But I cannot see where the space is to make this happen (in motherhood or in the business).  Instead of quieting down, November & December are amongst my busiest times of year at work; and the school calendar for Piglet ramped up with nativities, fairs, parties, Christmas jumper day, raffles etc etc.  And then there was the Christmas admin to be done.  Being ill was a huge inconvenience.  At one point I was making Christmas pancakes with a fever of 39.8 like some sort of sweaty goon (worth it, though, for shiny bright excited eyes).

But here we are, in the glorious gloopy formless week between Christmas and New Year.  This, my friends, is wintering.  No plans, no pressure.  Pyjamas till lunchtime, crumbs on the sofa, fairy lights everywhere. One day, we were playing hide and seek, and Trix curled up into a little ball in her hiding place and actually fell asleep.  That sums up this week for me.  Apparently, in Germany, they call it the Week Between the Years.  I really like that.  Time suspended, not one nor the other.  A between-time in which no one really expects very much of you at all.  

I hadn’t felt like going outside much in December when I was ill.  It’s been nice venturing out a little into the damp and grey over the last few days.  I think the weather is about to get a whole lot more wintery.  Today has been windy and wet. Perhaps I shall retreat again.  

After the Week Between the Years comes January and a change of pace for me.  I’m brimming to the top with creative energy and ideas and I am hoping that January has the time and space to work some of them out. Please, universe, no more bugs for a few weeks. Let me draw and make things and send out calendars in peace!

That’s another year completed of these monthly journals.  Was that year two or year three?  I’m not sure.  Thank you to anyone who has been reading along and taking the time to look at my sketchbook pages.  My commitment to sketchbooking as a record of this precious time in my life feels important (to me, not to the world!).  I think I shall continue in 2025.  Sending much love and best wishes for a creative & peaceful 2025, Hannah xxx

PS I think the 2025 Wildlife Calendar is about to sell out, in the next day or two.  There’s still some Family Calendars left, too.

Sketchbook Pages:

1 a day at the coast to celebrate the boys’ half-birthdays. Nothing cuter than a toddler in waterproofs. Piglet found a brownie bigger than his appetite, previously thought impossible. A perfect day.

2 geese over Lindean Loch

3 marshmallows, fire, chocolate cake and hide & seek in Gordon Community Woodland for Papa Dave’s 76th birthday

4 Trix in the snow in her Big Coat.  In general, she refuses to wear coats, so this small miracle needed recorded.

5 Wild children in puddles on the 1st of December.  Horribly behaved in the Christmas tree barn, and blowing off some excited steam afterwards

6 my little King in his Nativity – a life highlight for him & for me.  A flock of little birds drawn onto Trix’s lovely pen marks. Another highlight – a tattoo design by White Dove Studio.  And an ode to my cough, made with cough sweet wrappers.

7 mice on Christmas tree decorations.  What I imagine happens after we go to bed at night.

8 Boxing Day, the best day of  the year.  Throwing stones into the river with Auntie Ruth down at Otter Bay.  Pine needles.