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Buddy sketches Hannah Longmuir

June has marked one whole year without our beautiful Buddy dog.  I haven’t talked about it much in my public space as it feels like quite an awkward subject matter and I was too raw to handle any criticism (which is still the case, to be honest, so please don’t troll me).  I came across a little set of sketches in a notebook from 2014.  They reminded me of the pure Buddy joy and I thought I could share them as a little tribute to mark one year of not having Buddy with us.

Buddy sketches Hannah Longmuir

Amazing things about Bud: he could jump onto hay bales from standing; he liked to hold hands/paws; he had so much sunshine inside him that it leaked out through his wag; twice he wagged so hard he gave himself wag fatigue (a floppy tail); he loved swimming and would belly-flop into any water; he only liked sticks that were at least twice his width; he was scared of bluebottles and would cower in a corner (thunderstorms and fireworks: fine.  Tiny little buzzy fly: terrifying).  He had no idea he was a big dog.  We started every single day with him sitting on my lap for morning cuddles.  His ears were soft like velvet.  He was always happy to see you, even after only 30 seconds apart.  Everyone who knew him loved him (even though he raided their handbags).  Buddy was an absolute legend of a dog and I miss him I miss him I miss him.

The story in brief: Anytime I try to write the story of why Buddy doesn’t live with us anymore I feel like I am trying to justify it and defend myself, which I don’t need to do.  The basic is this: in order to protect the baby we had to keep him and Buddy apart.  It seemed too cruel to keep Buddy separated from the family so we made the absolutely horrible decision to find a better, happier home for him.  I cried for a fortnight.  It took six months of searching to find the right people to look after him.  He went to start a new life in Yorkshire last June.  We’d had him for 8 years (and since he was six weeks old).  We were (are) devastated. When I think it all through, which I do often, I can’t see how it could have gone another way.  I’m still not ok with it though.

4 Comments

  • Joanna Hunt2 months ago

    Hannah, I’m only just seeing this now, but honestly, I fail to see why anyone would give you a hard time about your decision. I totally understand the heartache of having to give him away, being a dog owner myself, but you clearly spent a long time looking for the most suitable people to take him, so for that you should be congratulated. No further explanations or justifications required.
    All the best..

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  • Mary Lou Gerow2 months ago

    I feel your sorrow in you having to give Buddy up You did what was right for everyone.. A very difficult decision to make. If Buddy had harmed the baby then things would have been worse for you and him. Did he find a good home and is he happy? That is what matters and I am sure you found him one. Don’t doubt your decision,. I know you must miss him but you have the talent to make him come alive and share his unique personality with us.

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  • Valerie Anne Shaw2 months ago

    What a wonderfully brave girl–and family–you are. You did the kindest thing in the kindest way possible, and the love you and Buddy shared doesn’t go away. It is carried with him o Yorkshire.
    I know what ‘being without’ feels like–no pain like it. But please don’t add to it or prolong it with self-reproach which is never what our animals want of us. Your beautiful art work celebrates life and light and love.

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  • rosanne harris1 month ago

    Hannah
    Having just read this my heart goes out to you! When you have a baby it should be wrapped in guilt! You always feel everything is your fault! You’ve done the best you can & I hope you’re kept in touch with how he’s getting on with his Yorkshire escapades!! I feel guilty having always loved your prints of him as he is so like “Nellie” who came home for Xmas at about the same time as Buddy!! Remember the good times & embroider him in your life’s tapestry/drawing as I do when talking about my previous dogs to my children & now my grandsons!
    Take care
    Fiona
    (Rosanne’s Mum) 🙂

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