March Journal: She's Two!

bear with me, I’m about to get weepy

On Sunday, my baby girl turned two.

In May, my little boy (although if you ask him he’s a big boy) turns five.

I love the kids birthdays – planning for them, making them special, celebrating everything they are.  For Trix’s 2nd birthday, we planned a duck-themed birthday party because she loves ducks.  When she sees them she squeals DUCKSIES!  Piglet & I made a slightly chaotic, very sweet, very blue duck pond cake.  We all made duck decorations together from cardboard boxes and poster paints.  We ordered her a huge ladybird balloon.  We filled jars with daffodils from the garden and bought a big bunch of purple tulips (she is purple obsessed) and the sun shone through the petals and I felt all the feels because sunshine and tulips will always remind me of newborn Trix, all scrunched up and warm and milky.  I feel very emotional about each birthday: how can you be two? How can you possibly be five?  Who stole time!?  When you have a baby and everyone tells you to enjoy every minute, what they really mean is “your children aging feels like a physical pain, a grief of sorts, but one mixed with such relief and joy”.  

Parenting is the most tiring, annoying and completely wonderful thing I’ve ever known.  It is impossible to enjoy every second, because who has ever enjoyed tipping a giant jobby from a potty into a toilet, or trying to sweep up cous cous from under a high chair. Nobody. But on their birthdays, you get such a keen sense of the fleetingness of it all, and it feels a bit overwhelming.

Trix loves: purple, horses, purple horses, bunnies, bouncy balls, wellies, Oscar (the neighbour’s cat), shutes, buses, drawing on her hands and feet, yoghurt, ducks  and her big brother.  She’s a wee comic.  She’s as mad as a box of grasshoppers.  She sleeps terribly, but she makes up for her night time contrariness by being the sweetest human that ever lived during the day – sure, she’s headstrong and wild and obstinate (which I applaud), but her core is sugar.  I could eat her up.  If I hurt myself she takes my face in her hands and says “y’alright hun?”.  

Other March things:

hellebores (always looking down – what a treat for the beetles and the slugs and the toads to look up into their beautiful faces); 

daffodils;

the first daisies and dandelions on the verges; 

frog and toad spawn (there was two little strands of toad spawn in our new pond one morning – I was so excited I could have burst – but Trix is struggling to leave the pond alone so it got all broken up.  I am not hopeful for it!);

starting to fill the en suite windowsill with seedlings – I find it hard to get going with planting in early March, hard to believe anything can grow when it still feels like winter in Scotland, but we have sweet peas, aubergines and snapdragons through, and yesterday sowed more sweet peas and marigolds and black-eyed susans.  I obsessively stare at the seedlings a lot, is that normal?

Sketchbook pages pictured:

Above – the baby bunny outside the patio doors on the first of March, hellebores; Below – a mallard drawing for Trix’s birthday card and a photocopy of the dandelion page from a wildflowers book; a toad research page (one of the characters in the children’s story I am writing is a socially anxious toad); Trix, determined with bucket.

March sketchbook page by Hannah Longmuir
March sketchbook page by Hannah Longmuir
March sketchbook page by Hannah Longmuir

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